Bad Joke of the Day

Q: What do you call a well endowed white supremacist?

A: A Hungarian

Thanks to Brent for making up this awful joke that made me laugh so hard.

What I did on my summer vacation pt 1

I completed an Olympic distance triathlon!!

Summer Vacation!

I'm almost done with summer vacation.  Look out for more Karte Blanche coming soon! In the meantime, chew on this...

Introducing KB Kombucha...

The fact that I'm now brewing my own Kombucha might mean that I've started the icky descent into hippydom.  In fact, it is basically proof of that.  Call it a late-20s-about-to-turn 30 crisis of identity, or evidence that I've been spending too much time in Portland, OR.  Either way, I blame Sharon Shattuck, mostly because she gave me the scoby that started my great experiment. 

"What is a scoby?", you might be asking yourself.  Well, it is a yeasty culture that turns sugary tea into sparkling kombucha by eating the sugar and giving off CO2 as a byproduct.  Also, it looks like a giant, flexible piece of mold, and feels like you're petting a dolphin (see above).  It is one of those things that made me wonder about who would look at a scoby and think "Man, I want to drink the water that that has been sitting in!"  The answer is clear.  Only a hippy. 

It is incredibly simple to make kombucha.  First, you boil about a gallon of water, and add 5-7 tea bags (I chose jasmine green tea).  Let the tea steep  for about 15 minutes.  During this time, add about 1.5 cups of sugar (this is a rough approximation).  Make sure the sugar dissolves completely.  Now, let your tea cool to room temperature,  put it in a glass jar, and add the scoby with a bit of the "starter tea" that came with the scoby. 

 Cover the jar with a piece of cloth and put a rubber band around the top to keep unwanted contaminants from entering your kombucha.  

Wow, it's already looking so delicious!  But unfortunately you'll have to wait awhile before you can enjoy your sparkling mold water.  How will you manage? 

Once the kombucha culture is added to the tea, it should not be moved or disturbed for about 10 days.  I opted to put mine in the corner and cover it with a dish towel so it doesn't look like there is a moldy jar of pee sitting in my kitchen.  Dregs that look like mold tentacles will start to appear, and a new scoby may begin to grow.  This is normal, and many websites insist that the mold tentacles are the most healthy part of the kombucha (blechhhh!)

Your kombucha is almost done!  Now you must put it in a bottle with a tight cap to allow it to carbonate, and wait another 5 days for it to be ready!  I strained mine as I bottled it to remove the healthy mold tentacles that I prefer not to consume no matter how beneficial they might be.   I also added raspberries to mine at this stage.  What an adventure!

Flying Trapeze- Straddle Flip

Check out my latest trick at TSNY's Governor's Island rig on opening weekend!  Laura on board, Dave on lines, Jason catching.

Happy Mother's Day!

In honor of Mother's Day, check out this Saturday Night Live parody commercial I edited.  If you're reading my blog, it might be applicable to you.

Where's the death certificate? - Fox News Reporting FAIL

Yesterday, the surge of patriotism and excitement surrounding Osama Bin Laden's death didn't stop Fox News from trying to slip in some not-so-subliminal messages.  Here's a tip for you guys: Osama ≠ Obama, even if they rhyme.  

Flying Trapeze- Toes Off

TSNY's outdoor rig opened today!  I was lucky enough to learn and catch a new trick.  Check it out!



Jeff on lines, Jordan on board,  & Greg catching

Weird Stuff in Brooklyn

This was the sandwich board outside of the Gibson on Easter Sunday.  Hilarious.

I found this gem on a wall in Greenpoint.  I assume it's a tribute to all of the political unrest.

Bad Joke of the Day - Passover edition

Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
 

A: A matzochist!


Finally!  A matzoh joke that isn't about constipation!!  Thanks to Risa for this seasonally appropriate bad joke!

Brent's Gazebo - Hanover, New Hampshire

I'll begin this blog post with a simple question: How many gazebos do you have?
If you answered 0, then HA! my boyfriend has you beat!
If you answered 1 or more, I'll rephrase the question:
How many gazebos do you have that have been erected on the campus of a prestigious Ivy League college at your request? 
Is it zero?  Would you say you have exactly zero ivy league gazebos? 
Yeah, that's what I thought.  Basically, don't test Brent's gazebo having abilities, because, although you wouldn't know it by visiting his house, Brent can completely annihilate you in a gazebo brag-a-thon. "How?" you might be asking yourself....

 

Well, the legend goes that in the year 2000, Brent Knopf, a gazebo-loving senior at Dartmouth, was fed up with the lack of shaded outdoor spaces available to students.  There was nowhere on campus where one could sit and study outside without having to purchase a coffee beverage or pastry.  So Brent approached the Dartmouth administration and pleaded the case for a gazebo on campus.   Brent's winning idea cut right through the red tape and bureaucracy usually involved when proposals cross the desks of university administrators, and 3 months later, a gazebo was erected behind the senior apartments.  Brent's very own gazebo dream had become a reality almost as beautiful as it was in his imagination.   I could hardly believe this fairy tale, until I saw the gazebo with my own eyes.

Please enjoy this series of photos I took with Brent, upon returning to visit his gazebo 11 years after its erection.   Oh, um, I mean construction.

 The 'This is my gazebo, bitch!' pose

 The 'Check out my gazebo' jig (part 1)

 The 'Check out my gazebo' jig (part 2) 

 Welcome to my lovely gazebo

Woolly Monster Attacks Chicago!

If I'd learned anything from Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll, and Dolly the cloned sheep*, I would have never released this human-made creature into the wild!




*Dolly disaster pending

Piermont, New Hampshire - A place to try new things!

Even though it is April, and most of us are thinking about warming temperatures, spring rains, and seasonal allergens caused by blossoming trees, it is still snowing in New Hampshire.  At least it was in the small town of Piermont, where Brent and I stayed for the second half of our New England adventure.   

Our lovely hosts Alex and Kristy showed us all of the fun to be had in the country as the snow was starting to thaw.  First we went on a snowshoe expedition in the hilly forest behind their property.  This was my first snowshoeing experience.  Apparently there have been many breakthroughs in snowshoe technology over the years because our shoes didn't look like the tennis-rackets-strapped-to-your-feet that I picture when I hear the word 'snowshoe.'   Instead, they look like mini-sleds with metal teeth on the bottom.  When you walk through fresh snow with them on, it makes a sound like you're biting into a crisp apple.  I really liked it!

Brent, Alex, Kristy, & the neighbor's dog Toby, who followed us for the whole adventure.

Along our snowshoe route, we saw a variety of animal tracks in the snow.  Unfortunately, we didn't see any of the animals in person, but it was nice to know that they were somewhere close by. 

Moose Tracks

 

Wild Turkey Tracks 

 Otter Tracks! 

Otter Tracks on video!

Another great reason to visit New Hampshire in April is because it is maple syrup making season!  Alex & Kristy's neighbor, Ed, loves to make his own maple syrup.  He taps the maple trees in his yard, and hangs a bucket underneath to collect the tree sap.  When sap comes out of the tree, it is clear in color and has a very subtle sweetness, but basically tastes like weak sugar water.  In order to make it into maple syrup as we know it, you have to boil it down.  It takes 30-40 gallons of tree sap to make one gallon of maple syrup.  Suddenly I was beginning to realize why authentic maple syrup is so expensive.  It is a very labor-intensive process.

Ed showed us his "sugar house", which is a cabin where he boils tree sap into maple syrup.  Ed's boiler was homemade.  It consisted of a barrel laid on it's side with a door in the front to load in firewood, and a flat pan on top that was about 6 inches deep, and divided into 3 compartments.   Ed pours the sap into the first compartment.  As it heats up, it begins boiling and moves into the 2nd and 3rd compartments.  The compartments create more hot surface area, and therefore make the sap boil into syrup faster.  It is still a very slow process and takes hours of careful boiling until the water evaporates. 

Once the sap has boiled down to syrup, Ed must remove it from the boiler quickly before it turns too thick and ruins his pan.  Many sugar houses go up in flames if the syrup is left to boil, unattended. 

Spigot at the bottom of the pan where boiled syrup is collected.

Ed has quite an impressive maple syrup collection.  He has over 100 containers! Many of them are tin and vintage.  I was really excited by the old log cabin syrup that actually comes in a log cabin shape!

Ed and me with his maple syrup collection.

Ed's collection has over 100 different kinds!

 Log Cabin syrup in a log cabin shape!  Awesome!

Our last Piermont adventure was one for the books! We went to Robie Farms to see how they make their raw milk cheeses!  We met Mark Robie, who showed us the giant bowl where they add the milk, enzymes, and rennet.  We also saw the press where the cheese is pressed into rounds.  The most exciting part of the tour was a visit to the cheese cave!  We bought the Toma and the Piermont cheeses, and they were both excellent!

Me inside the cheese cave!

So much delicious artisanal cheese! Brent can I build a cheese cave at your house, please?

Who would have guessed that there was so much to see and do in a very small New Hampshire town?  I had a wonderful time, and it was so great getting to know Alex and Kristy, too! 

Adventures in Vermont

Last week, Brent and I ventured to the faraway land of New England! When we arrived in Vermont, we walked down to Lake Champlain. I was told that some people call it the 6th Great Lake. As a Michigander, I take my Great Lakes pretty seriously, so I had to see for myself how great it was. It turns out it is a nice lake, but I wouldn't call it "Superior" to any of the true Great Lakes. Hahaha! Get it! I worked in a bad Great Lake pun. This is shaping up to be my best post ever!

It was really interesting and beautiful to see the ice of the once frozen lake breaking up with the spring weather.

Downtown Burlington features a lovely pedestrian mall called Church street. I got one of the most delicious mochas I've ever tasted from Lake Champlain Chocolates. Apparently, the bronzed saxophonist knew about the quality of the mocha, and asked me for a sip.

"Sorry, between myself and my chocolholic boyfriend, there isn't enough to share"

The next day, we went on a beautiful, snowy hike up to the top of Stowe Pinnacle. Sometimes I think hiking is just a fancy name for walking around in the woods, but since we needed hiking poles to get up the icy terrain, I think this trek definitely counts as a true hike. It was a perfect day, and the views were spectacular!

Watch out for Kelly Bears, though. We spotted one atop the pinnacle.

After our semi-strenuous hike, we were feeling hungry! Luckily, our intrepid host Ben knew just the spots to take us to sample some of Vermont's best local fare without having to pay a dime! Our first stop was in the adorable town of Stowe, at the Stowe Mercantile. This place is a free sample extravaganza! They carry hundreds of specialty products, and there were at least 30 different items available to sample around the store. I fell in love with their horseradish maple mustard, and Brent couldn't get enough of their wasabi peanuts and bittersweet chocolate sauce. We had to buy some, even though Ben insisted that we shouldn't feel pressured.

Next we went to the Cabot Cheese headquarters for some serious cheese tasting. They had samples of every cheese flavor they offer, along with samples of maple syrup and a few other specialty items. It was like my own personal Disney World. There was so much free cheese that I actually got to a place where I had enough cheese. This is probably only the second time in my life that this has happened (The first time being cheesefest '98 where my sister and I gathered everything cheesy in our house and nibbled til we dropped).  Brent loved the horseradish cheddar the most.  My favorite was the vintage cheddar aged 18 months.  Crumbly and perfect!  Yum!

Our host Ben doing his best cow impression.

After cheesefest '11, we walked next door to the Lake Champlain Chocolate store for some free chocolate samples. Everything was delicious! Needless to say, after all of the hiking and free goodies, Brent and I took the most epic vacation-food-coma nap I've ever had (excluding post-Thanksgiving dinner).

The next day, Brent and I headed back to Stowe for a cozy, small-town afternoon. We stopped by the Cold Hollow Cider Mill where we tasted delicious hot apple cider, and I found this corn bread mix that comes in the shape of an ear of corn!!!  Too cute!

Finally, we couldn't leave Vermont without stopping by the Ben & Jerry's Factory tour!  We weren't allowed to photograph the factory (for fear that Haagen-Dasz spies may have been among us), but we did get to see where the chunks, swirls, and flavors get added, and the vast tubing network that pumps 100,000 pints of ice cream through the factory everyday.  We also learned that one lucky B&J's employee is the quality inspector (aka taste tester)! Yum!

My first visit to Vermont was definitely action packed!  Thanks to Ben and Lori for their excellent hospitality! It was also very nice to meet their friend Jen!

Flying Trapeze- Forward Over

Here's what I've been working on at Trapeze School New York. Hopefully I'll return it soon. Thanks to Hal on lines, Breton catching, and Jordan on board.

Aerial Yoga

This weekend, Brent and I decided to try something different, so we headed to Unnata Aerial Yoga in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The class was paced slowly and definitely good for beginners who are unaccustomed to hanging out upside-down.

We began class by learning to find our plumb line directly below the connection point where the hammock meets the ceiling. We learned to back bend into the fabric, and give our weight to the hammocks. Once we found our balance, we moved on to an upside-down straddle position. It felt really good to just hang out upside-down for awhile, without having to do all of the arm balancing work of a traditional yoga inversion.

From the straddle, we learned to wrap one foot around the fabric and let the other leg hang down. The teacher called this position an upside-down pigeon pose. It felt a lot nicer than sitting in pigeon, though. Plus it looks way cooler! Remember, Brent and I are both first timers.

After inverting, we learned to do a floating baddha konasana pose, where gravity helps you to open up your hip flexors, and lets your knees sink closer to the floor.

From here, we could bend forward slowly to invert the baddha konasana pose.

It was really fun to try something new with Brent. We both felt a bit hazy and relaxed after class. What an excellent way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

Take that, high fructose corn syrup

My latest Saturday Night Live parody sticks it to the corn refiners association. Check it out...

Bad Joke of the Day

Q: What type of nut is the smartest?A: M-academia nut!

Thanks to Brent for making up this awful joke, and thanks to Adina for inspiring it with all of her macadamia nut bath products.

Ramona Falls "Going Once Going Twice" video

Here is a video I edited of Ramona Falls performing "Going Once, Going Twice" at Mississippi Studios in Portland, OR. It is introduced by none other than Mr. Toad, star of the RF video for "Russia". Enjoy!

I'm a winner!

The Fortune Writer, a short film directed by Eric Gross and edited by me just won the LES Film Festival for "Best Dramatic Short".

The LES Film Festival takes place in New York City's Lower East Side, and features films made for less than $30,000. Congrats to everyone involved!

Here's a short description of film...
Kirby works in the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant typing out fortunes for fortune cookies. When a lonely woman walks into the restaurant and piques Kirby’s interest, Kirby is faced with the challenge of writing his most difficult fortune yet. (8:46)